


a scarlet letter

by badAquatic



Series: Trailerstuck [85]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, F/M, Fan Offspring, Illustrated, M/M, Original Character(s), Pregnancy, non-graphic childbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 04:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5403572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>March is a cocktease month: half-winter and half-spring with blustery weather and humidity followed by pouring rain. It’s also the doldrums of school and while everyone in the neighborhood struggles under the mounting pressure of senior year, another situation comes to a head. </p><p>Takes place after 'it comes to light'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. on the arrival of a certain letter

**Author's Note:**

> Previously on Trailerstuck:  
> Eridan comes out of the hospital and convenes with Meenah, Karkat, and Tavros about the truth of who attacked Karkat a child. An argument ensues which is only stopped by Gamzee, who insists that he no longer cares about the past. Realizing that revenge will not help her battered son, Meenah makes peace with Eridan—not forgiving him, but promising no grudges. Karkat, however, remains conflicted about Gamzee. While debating, he finds a panicked Gamzee looking for Nepeta and his son, Simham. Seeing Gamzee’s state, Karkat puts his anger aside and helps locate the missing grub. After Simham is rescued, Karkat realizes he will never forgive Gamzee and Gamzee will not seek his or Kankri’s forgiveness, now fully cognizant of everything he has done.

**== >Karkat: Help your Fish-Mom make the final move **

 

March is a cocktease month: half-winter and half-spring with blustery weather and humidity followed by pouring rain. It’s also the doldrums of school: not relieved by being fucking _done_ with high school or struggling under the mounting pressure of finals. Your plans are still in flux, unsure about college or future careers. Right now you have to keep your head above the water with odd jobs: painting trailers, cutting lawns, cleaning gutters, snaking toilets, babysitting, moving furniture, walking pets, and other shit losers like you do.

It’s fucking awful but boons are boons. The only time you get a break is when you’re scouting for Mr. Slick. You pick up the remaining box, smiling at Karcin. “You looking forward to hanging out with the other kids?”

Karcin frowns.

“I know they haven’t molted yet but I’m sure they’ll be fun.” You continue.

Karcin rolls his eyes and walks away. You shrug and load up the car with the box. When you return to the apartment, Cronus walks over to you.

“This is the last of it.” Cronus says, handing a box to you.

“You never told me which trailer you got.” you ask.

“One opened up on Kaiba Street. Standard place but we’ll have more room.” Cronus says.

“Any idea when Karcin will speak to me?”

“He’s _very_ shy, Karkat. He just needs to warm up.”

Karcin returns to the living room with a backpack. He walks over to Cronus and tugs his hand.  

The violetblood looks at his adopted son, “What is it?” Karcin frowns and Cronus pats him on the head. “Don’t worry! You’ll still see Hercul!”

“Are you going now?” Hercul is at the top of the stairs and damn, the kid is shooting up like a weed. He’s going to look identical to Petros in the future.

“Getting ready to.” Cronus says.

Hercul races down the stairs and picks up Karcin in a bear hug. The mutantblood kit looks flustered by the attention.

“You better come to my matches still!” Hercul laughs. Karcin mumbles and Hercul laughs, putting him down.

“You’re doing matches” you ask, “You’re like…what? One?”

“I’ll be two soon!” Hercul insists, “Plenty of other kids do it!”

You doubt that’s legal but trolls have a long history of child fighting. Maybe there’s a reason troll children don’t stay toddlers for long.

“I’ll put this on the truck and talk to Mr. and Ms. Slick,” you tell Cronus.

“They’re on the back porch.” Hercul says.

Carapaces love their intense sunlight, while your instincts make you flinch. You also don’t know what to make of their grey kid so far. They’re not developing as fast as Hercul, but not as slow as a human baby. You say hello and share your recent pictures with Mr. Slick.

“So, it turns out the back room _is_ intact,” you say, “but the pipes are old. Not as much mold damage as we thought but the pipes need work.”

“I’m just glad it hadn’t been yanked out.” Mr. Slick answers.

“Lucky us. How’s the land deal?”

“Smoother than we thought. Should be ready by April.” Mr. Slick answers, “With renovations, this place is going to look great.” He hugs Arthur. “Right, son?”

The toddler laughs, kissing his father.

“Is he going to start talking soon?” you ask.

“Within the next month.” Ms. Slick says.

So, humans _still_ have the dumbest infants.

You say goodbye and make sure Cronus is packed. You ride with Karcin and him since he doesn’t want you riding the bus alone.

“Why don’t you have a car yet?” Cronus asks, “You could see Arthat more if you did.”

“I borrow Jade’s car and I saw Arthat yesterday.”

“How did _that_ go?”

Fucking _terrible_. Arthat bit you when you tried to hold him. Then he hid under the couch until you left. You were so embarrassed that you went home and hid under the futon blanket.

When you’re silent, Cronus laughs, “Kankri had a hard time bonding with you too.”

“Like that matters. Kempie and him get along fine.” You think of Kankri coddling his new son and feel sick. “Snippy is the only thing Arthat cares about.”

Cronus stops the car at a light. “Karkat, it’s okay to be jealous of Kempie and Kankri.”

“Why would I be _jealous_ of Kempie and Kankri’s sappy Hallmark Movie life?” you groan.

“You want to be close to Arthat like how Kankri and Kempie are close. It’s natural to want those things.”

“No, its not!” You sink in your seat. “Trolls aren’t supposed to _like_ grubs. We’re supposed to kill them for paint or taco meat. Wanting anything else is too-”

“Human?”

You look out the window, scowling. You think back to the previous year, when Kankri was driving you home from school. That was a prime example of your father-son quality time.  

“Karkat, you can’t define yourself by Alternian terms.” Cronus says, “You think Vriska would be so despised if this was Alternia?”

“What are you talking about?” you growl.

“On Alternia, Vriska would be a leader, because Imperial Alternia culture demanded that trolls surround themselves with the most cunning, violent, and sociopathic people. That’s just how things were, but on New Earth we’ve moved _beyond_ that.” He sighs. “It happens all the time. Meenah, Damara, me…we were _all_ like that.”

“I can’t imagine _you_ being like _her_.”

“That’s ‘cause you know me as ‘Mom’. You didn’t know me as the bag of dicks I was in high school. I did some incredibly shitty things. _All_ kids do shitty things. It’s part of growing up. The danger is if you _don’t_ outgrow being shitty.” He sighs. “It takes a long times, but it’s worth it. Meenah could tell you that.”

“When Meenah left…what did people think?”

“Meenah…wasn’t the most _popular_ troll. Rufioh was friends with her in the same way he’s ‘friends’ with everyone and Aranea…she hasn’t grown at all.”

“Meaning…?”

“Aranea is two-faced, Karkat.” You roll your eyes, “You can disbelieve me, but I’ve know her longer. She was Kankri’s friend throughout high school and she never helped him. In fact, she distanced herself from him so he wouldn’t jeopardize her social life.”

That is a little...odd...but not grounds for you to treat Aranea with deep suspicion.

“Just remember, Karkat,” continues Cronus, “Arthat is a _Serket_ , and Serkets are either Vriska or Aranea. There’s no in-between.”

You want to ask Cronus how he’s so sure but you doubt he’ll go into details with Karcin in the car. You look at the backseat and see Karcin is reading a comic and ignoring the both of you. What does he think about his adopted family?

The car pulls up to a trailer on Kaiba Street. As soon as you get out, the neighbors grab their children and rush inside.

The memory of the Cherubs is burned in everyone’s memories. The event has transcended from fact into sensationalized urban legend, now known as Bloody November, or the Night of Bullets.

Cronus’s new home has seen better days. The grass is knee-high and there’s a kudzu infestation on the roof. There isn’t much furniture, just odds and ends. Karcin’s things are in his backpack.

Karcin’s room is sparsely decorated and has the usual childhood interests (stuffed horseshoe crabs and lusii, comics, books) but your eyes settle on a small framed picture of Sergei. He’s far younger but its definitely him.  

“Who’s that?” you ask Karcin.

Karcin looks at you suspiciously and then averts her eyes. “My Mom.”

It’s the first words he’s said to you and they’re without emotion. You leave and locate Cronus in the living room, resting on a crate on the floor.

“You have a picture of Sergei?” you whisper, sitting next to him.

Cronus nods. “There weren’t any of Meliak. The most I could do was a file photo of Sergei from when he first came to the UTC. It helps with Karcin’s insomnia.”

You wonder if Cronus will tell Karcin about his parents…but what would be the point? Karcin had no genetic attachment to Sergei or Meliak; he’s simply transferred ownership.

You say your goodbyes and walks across the street. You cross the abandoned Harley lot and enter the Strider property.

Jake is sitting at the picnic table, with Khanie in front of him.

“Now if you’re ever in a pinch you can eat sow thistle,” Jake says.

Khanie picks up the plant with her clumsy little claws and pops it into her mouth. A second later she spits it out. “ _Bluh!”_

“You have to cook and season that,” Jake sighs. He holds up another plant, “Now you can eat _chickweed_ raw and it’s easily found in sidewalks.”

Khanie nibbles on the chickweed and spits it out with another loud “ _Bluh!”._

“Stop eating it if you don’t like it!”Jake scolds.

_“_ Isn’t she a little young for all of this?” you ask.

“You’re never too young to learn survival skills!” Jake points to the flora on the picnic table. “Want to learn a bit about nature, Karkat?”

“I’m not eating weeds, Jake.” you say.

“A ‘weed’ is a useless category.” Jake holds up a green plant with a red root, “You can find all sort of things growing in the sidewalks: purslane, persimmons, clover, white mustard, wood sorrel. The sap is really the best indicator of—Khanie! Stop eating that sassafras! I haven’t taught you about it yet!”

“ _Jake_! Feed Khanie _real food_!” Dirk calls from inside the trailer.

“But I’m not done teaching…” Jake whines.

You walk through the open door and see Dirk sitting in a chair under one fan, Jade is half awake in a chair under the second fan, and Dave is sprawled out on the futon in the cross-breeze.

“You all look like you’re about to die.” You say.

“ _Hot_.” Dave mumbles into the futon mattress.

“Pregnant…” Jade mutters.

“Jake made me get up at _sunrise_ to look for weeds,” Dirk grumbles, “and then he poisoned me with them.”

You sit on the futon next to Dave and start taking off your gloves and shoes. “I have trouble believing _you_ can get food poisoning.”

“He’s being a drama king.” Jake says, walking into the kitchen.

“Jake poisoned me.” Dirk turns to his brother. “Dave, avenge me.”

“It’s too hot to avenge anything. Call me back in December.” Dave says.

“Then I’m making Khanie do it. She’ll _bite_ Jake at least.” Dirk mumbles.

“Did anyone look through the mail? There’s a stack in here...” Jake says from the kitchen.

“Mail is Dave’s responsibility.” Dirk says.

“I looked at it.” Dave says.

“Looks like _everyone’s_ been shirking this week. The kitchen’s a mess…” Jake returns to the room balancing mail and a bag of grub pellets. Khanie is perched on his head. Jake pours pellets into Khanie’s bowl. “Guys, at _some_ point we have to re-fold the futon _._ ”

“I protest such an idea on the grounds that a futon makes a better bed than a couch.” you say.

Khanie pounces on the food, spilling pellets everywhere Jake gets a chair from the kitchen and goes through the mail.

“Gods, all this spam…” He looks over a letter in a crisp red envelop and raises his eyebrows. “Dave, you got a letter from a college.”

“Throw it away.” Dave grumbles.

“ _Don’t_.” Dirk says.

“Bro--” Dave grumbles.

Jake opens the letter. “ _Dear Mr. Strider, The University of New Jack is pleased to offer you an educational internship. Your schedule will be 30 to 35 hours per week, beginning September 9 th and ending January 1st. For this position, you will be paid an hourly rate of ten boons._”

Dave sits up. “ _What_?”

Jake looks over the other papers in the letter. “Apparently, the head of their film and television department was interested in your script…”

“Let me see that!”

Jake surrenders the paperwork and Dave looks at his brother. “Bro, I _told_ you I didn’t want to go! You never listen to me!”

“It’s difficult for me to submit a script I’ve yet to read.” Dirk says, “John could have done it.”

Dave looks away. “John hasn’t read it. We’re still not talking.”

“Why _aren’t_ you talking?” Dirk asks, “Did you two accidentally kiss?”

Shit, this is awkward. You should really leave. Jake and Jade have already eased out the room.

“What?” Dave makes a face. “Why would that be a _problem_?”

“It just seems like something that would happen!” Dirk says, exasperated, “John and you have been friends since you were small and now you’re not talking? It’s a little more than weird...”

“Bro, I don’t want to get into that right now.” Dave looks over the letter. “Need to deal with this now...”

“So what’s part of the job?” you ask.

“Basic recording, learning about film. My money’s going to be supplied by a grant.” Dave sits on the futon. “Ten boons is only fifty coins more than I get busting my ass serving coffee to the _most obnoxious people in the world.”_ He sighs, “Fuck…”

“Dave, you don’t have to make a decision right now.” Dirk says.

“I didn’t want to make this choice in the _first_ place!” Dave huffs.

Jake walks through the front door and clears his throat. “Uh, maybe we should talk about this later?”

“What for?” Dave growls.

“Jade says it’s time.” Jake says.

Fuck. You were so wrapped up in the Strider drama that you forgot that the world doesn’t revolve around them. You look to Dave for a proper reaction but he’s petrified.

After several minutes, the albino has one response: “What?”

“Jade says she’s having contractions.” Jake repeats.

Dave blinks. “What?”

“Dave.exe has encountered a fatal error and needs to shut down.” You say.

“You’ve been hanging around Sollux too much.” Dirk says.

“Wait…what?” Dave glances around the room, “Jade is doing what now?”

Jake decides to move Dave, gently taking the letter from your confused kismesis. Khanie has climbed out from under the futon to start squeaking at everything on and then puffs up when she’s ignored.

“Dirk, are you coming?” Jake asks.

“No, someone has to watch Khanie.” Dirk says.

“Same.” You say. This is a Strider-only venture.

Khanie walks over to Jake chittering angrily. Jake smiles at her. “We’ll be back soon! Try not to run Dirk and Karkat ragged.”

“Hey, we can handle her. She’s not even bigger than a kitten.” You insist. Khanie growls, glaring at you.

“And away we go…” Jake says, dragging Dave out the door.

As they leave, you hear Dave wondering, “Wait, what are we doing…?”


	2. the long awaited arrival

**== >Karkat: Be Dave, becoming a parent **

 

You’re ten minutes into Jade going into labor and you totally blew your promise to stay cool. You’re only jostled out of the stupor when you’re in the backseat of Jade’s car holding her hand. Your thoughts immediately are _Oh gods, this is really happening_ followed by _Oh gods my hand shit._

“A-are you okay? Is your water breaking or something?” Your attempts to sound calm fail because your voice pitches with every squeeze.  

“Water doesn’t break at the _start_ of labor!” Jade yells.

At least she’s still informative while in pain.

Jake tries to find soothing music on the radio but the only thing playing is dubstep and house music. Jade yells about you changing her presets and you just agree, hoping to keep her happy. You’re thankful when you get to the hospital.

You wheel Jade inside while Jake parks since its Saturday. The emergency room is packed from the injured to the homeless and Jade isn’t the only one who appears to be in the throes of labor.  

Still functioning on three brain cells, you pull up to the nurse counter.

“What brings you to the hospital?” asks the nurse.

“Contractions! _Pain_!” Jade orders.

“I am the Dad and I don’t know what I’m doing.” You blurt.

The nurse chuckles. “First time parents, huh?”

At least you had the foresight to keep your health insurance card in your wallet. They take Jade in quickly, which earns her some envious glares. You stay in the waiting room to fill out the paperwork. You have to rest the clipboard on an end table so you can write steady.

Jake comes in as you hand the paperwork to the nurse. “They took her already?”

You nod. “Y-yeah! They took her right away. She’s just. Yeah. I’m doing paperwork--”

“Dave.”

“W-what?”

Jake pats you on the shoulder, smirking. “ _Breathe_.”

You inhale and start inhaling too much and soon feel dizzy. You have to sit down and catch your breath. A human woman in the waiting room says you’re ‘in her prayers’.

When you’re calm and collected, you join Jade in the exam room. Jake decides to wait outside since this is more about the two of you. In the exam room, Jade is hooked up to an IV and her fingers are seized around a stress ball.

“How are you feeling?” you ask in your least shaky voice.

Jade hasn’t even noticed you. “What in the hell made me think I can do this? I fucking _hate_ this…ow! Damn it!”

“I don’t know.” You admit. You can only be sure about sixty percent of the time what’s going through Jade’s head.

The nurse comes around like clockwork, checking Jade’s vitals and the occasional ultrasound. They talk but the discussion of anesthesia and spinal injections bounce right off you. Fuck, why did you come here? You’re terrible at this shit. You don’t like talking about your _own_ medical issues.

The meds start working enough that Jade can sit up. Her eyes are glassy but she’s alert. When the surgeon arrives, she asks, “What’s this going to _feel_ like?”

“You’re not going to feel _any_ pain,” promises the surgeon, “At the most you’ll feel tugging, pulling, and pressure but we’ll be talking you through it.”

“Okay. This feels…fuck.” Jade grits her teeth and leans back on the bed. “I can’t wait for this to be over…”

The nurse looks at you. “Sir, if you’re going to be in the room, you’ll need scrubs.”

There is no way in fuck you’re going to handle being in the room. At best you’ll pass out.

“Okay.” You croak.

Jade’s going through hell. You can suffer to be mildly uncomfortable.

Things move rapidly once you’re in the scrubs, mask, and hairnet. While you’re wiping sweat your face in the humid operating room, Jade gets a spinal tap and her hair stuffed in a net. The heat isn’t helping your nerves, nor is the unnerving lack of smell. The noises of the hospitals are muted in the room but chaos is around each corner. Someone is shouting about blood loss, someone crying over a loved one.

Jade’s head is resting on a pile of pillows. A curtain divides her and the doctors. It’s eerie seeing her lying limp from medication, with eyelids half open. You stroke her hand and she murmurs.

The doctors are muttering commands to each other, so softly you can’t quite make them out. You want to ask the doctor how much they gave her but your throat’s too dry and you don’t want to distract them.

They work quickly but you expect in New Jack that they’re better prepared to handle human and carapace births than anywhere else. You don’t even get a good look at the baby as she’s removed, dried off, and placed in a nearby incubator.

You work up enough nerve to ask, “What’s going on?”

“Just the post-op,” a nurse says cheerily, “we’ll make sure your baby has all her documentation. It’s a girl! 8 pounds!”

She’s trying to distract you. “Can I see her?”

The nurse standing near the incubator hesitates. “Are you sure…?”

You sigh. Of course they would be apprehensive. “We knew from before how things would be.”

“Alright…” the nurse says, but is still wary as you approach the incubator.

You finally get a look at your daughter.

She’s…fine. Perfectly fine. Better than you expected. She looks like any newborn: not screaming but she’s breathing.  

“I don’t hear anything…” Jade whispers, coming out of the drug-induced haze.  

“Can you give her the baby?” you ask, “I mean, if it’s alright.”

Another nurse is examining your daughter. “Despite the skin, APGAR is passable.”

The surgeon nods. “Then we’ve done the best we can.”

They swaddle your daughter in a blanket and wheel Jade to a room. It’s not the most spacious or nice, but you’re glad it has a window. The nurses hand Jade your daughter and then leaves.

Jade, now propped up by pillows, cradles your daughter.

“She’s okay…” Jade whispers. Tears fill her eyes and she holds the infant closer.

 

 

You sit on the edge of the bed and kiss her. “You did it.”

Jade looks at you with watery eyes and you can’t even vocalize what you’re both thinking: that your daughter made it, that she’s alive and breathing despite what the doctor said.

When Jade is calm, she lets you hold the baby.

You always knew infants were small but you’ve never held one. Even the dummies in the Home Ec classes were toddler-sized and not warm and _alive_. A strange feeling fills your stomach and you promised earlier you wouldn’t break down into a pile of emotional goo…but you fail.

“Looks like we have good genes after all.” You say, handing the infant back to Jade.

Jade smiles. “By our standards, they were _always_ good.”

Seems like she’s back to her old self. “Um, Dave, I have a confession to make.”

You steel your stomach for a serious, dramatic reveal. “You cheated on me?” Jade hits you in the shoulder.

“Why would you even _say_ that?”

“It just seemed like what you were doing to say!”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes.” Jade groans, rubbing her forehead. “I submitted your script. When I was filling out scholarships, I saw one for a film student and I applied you.”

“ _What_?” you growl.

Your daughter whines. It’s not a full-blown cry, more like a warning of what’ll happen if Jade and you don’t knock off the noise.

“I told you I didn’t want to go to college!” you groan.  

“The reason you don’t want to go is bullshit, Dave,” Jade says, “Lacking time and money shouldn’t be a reason to _not_ educate yourself. You don’t have to take the internship, but you should at least consider it.”

You still think Bro and her plotted this. It can’t be a coincidence you now have a car and no excuse _not_ to visit the college.

“I’m still mad…but thank you.” You kiss her, “I love you.”

Jade smirks. “You should after you put me through this.”

 

You locate Jake in the maternity waiting room, enjoying coffee and donuts with the waiting spouses and grandparents. You admire his dedication.

Jake’s at a loss for words when he finally looks at his granddaughter. “She’s very beautiful. Looks just like her mother.”

Jade looks at your daughter’s face. “She has my skin color but she looks more like Dave to me.”

“Sort of hard to tell when they’re this young.” You say.

“She’s also biracial,” Jake offers, still not looking at your baby, “Who knows what her coloring and face will be in the future?”

“It’s definitely going to be interesting.” You’re already on the phone messaging Bro.

“So what’s her name?” Jake asks, “You’ve been holding everyone in suspense for months now.”

“We didn’t want to…rush anything.” Jade says, cautiously, but smiles. “Care to tell them, honey?”

“ _Ew_. I hate that nickname.” You laugh.

“Would you accept it if I called you my precious bottle of apple juice?” Jade teases. Your daughter gurgles and slowly blinks.  

“Ironically or unironically?” you laugh.

“You’re not naming the baby ‘AJ’ are you?” Jake asks, returning to the original topic.

“I rejected _most_ of the terrible names.” Jade says.

“It’s Ness,” you say, “Ness Strider.”

“That’s rather cute…” Jake narrows his eyes suspiciously, “…and a little too normal. What’s her middle name?”

“Ness Katana Melody Strider.” You say.

“We agreed that Dave could put in the middle names,” Jade says, “Hopefully, she’ll leave it out of future job applications.”

“Shall we take a new family selfie?” you suggest.

Jade looks at Ness. “Are you sure…?”

You shrug. “They’ll see her eventually.”

Jade smiles. “Just one picture and make sure the flash is off.

You snap a picture with both of your girls. Ness’s eyes stay partially open but then yawns and goes back to sleep. You give her a break and let her rest in the room’s crib.

The nurse comes in a few minutes later, looks at Ness, and then quickly looks away. “Do you want me to take her to the nursery?”

You hesitate about letting Ness out of Jade’s sight but Jade smiles. “That would be great…I _really_ need sleep.” She looks at you. “And you have school.”

“I’m not leaving you by yourself.” You insist, “Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, Dave. I just want to sleep…” Jade yawns and shuts her eyes, finally nodding off.

The nurse takes Ness and you leave the room with Jake.

“Dave, you need to go home and sleep in a bed. You were up all night.” Jake says.

“All night? We were only here a few hours.”

“Dave, it’s eight in the morning.”

Your stomach then reminds you that you haven’t eaten a single thing since you came to the hospital. “I could go for breakfast.” You wobble, feeling close to falling over. “…I’m a fucking _father_. I’m…I’m _responsible_ for someone’s _life_.”

Jake shrugs. “Not to rain on your parade, but it’s easy to be a biological father, but being a parent is different. Look how much impact I had on Jade growing up.”

Which means little to none. “Do you feel different? Being a grandparent, I mean?”

“I’ll feel it more when she’s graduating high school.”

You trod down the hall with him. Your feet feel like lead ingots, numbly plopping down one after the other. “I want her to have it so much _better_ , Jake. I don’t want her to feel afraid or hungry or scared that we might not have a roof over her head.”

“You can’t protect her from everything. Every child needs _some_ fear to grow up.”  

“I know…” you sigh, “…but I don’t want _my_ fears bearing down on her.”

You walk past the nursery and feeling like a lone adventurer glancing upon Medusa, you steal a glance.

There are only seven infants in the nursery, making the room seem cavernous with empty space. Ness is the largest, but she’s placed further in the back. Her head is covered but you can still see the prominent ridges hidden underneath. She’s swaddled so the grey patches are hidden. The other infants are shrunken and sickly, with two premature and fighting for their lives in incubator chambers.

You keep walking, feeling ice in your veins. You go home and pass out into your bed, banishing the thoughts of the nursery.

 

Jade stays in the hospital for four days and you visit her every single day. Along with visitors comes a mountain of gifts. Jade and you had held off gifts and baby showers until Ness was born, because you weren’t sure if she would come at all and didn’t want to be haunted by things you may never use.

John doesn’t visit but Rose does with stuffed animals and baby food coupons.

“John sends his love.” Rose tells you.

“I’m sure.” You grunt.

“How long are you two going to be _mad_ at each other?” Jade sighs.

“I don’t know. It’s up to _him._ ”

Rose immediately swivels attention back to Jade. “I’m glad your baby turned out alright. I told you there was no reason to be so worried.” Rose smirks. “Though, I think it also helps that you weren’t on drugs.”

“I _know_!” Jade says in a scandalous whisper, “The woman across the hall from me asked me for cigarettes. In her a pack-a-day voice. I think she’s the mother of one of the premies and there’s another woman two doors down that’s a addict.”

“No? _Really_?”

Jade and Terezi have little in common but when they’re amongst friends, they turn into gossips. “Yes! She was cuffed too! Her baby must have tested positive for something.”

Now Rose looks uncomfortable. “So…how… _is_ Ness?”

She’s trying to be as polite and discreet as possible but she really wants to ask ‘Is there anything else wrong with her besides the way she looks?’. It’s a legitimate question from an old friend, but you can’t ignore the mild irritation. Coupled with the grimaces and snickers some of the nurses give Ness, you’re already overprotective.

Thankfully, Jade answers before you do.

“She’s fine. A little fussy maybe.” Jade says, “Well, a _lot_ fussy. She doesn’t seem to like breast milk. The doctor thinks it could be an allergy, but I should keep trying to feed her or mix breast milk into the formula so my antibodies and immunities can pass onto her.” She smiles. “Good thing I got the breast pump.”

Rose smiles, looking at the infant. “She looks so peaceful now…”

“That’s cause she exhausted herself crying.” You say.

“She’s just a tired newborn who doesn’t know why everyone is fussing over her.” Jade lifts up Ness and kisses her. Ness squirms. “My perfect little angel! Everyone wants to see you.”

“Can you tell what color her hair is?” Rose asks.

“We don’t know but it’s curly.” Jade says.

“May I hold her?” Rose asks.

“You can try but she might be in a crappy mood…” you say.

You’re nervous at first but Rose holds Ness like a professional. There’s a warm, sentimental look on her face as she holds your daughter. Ness gurgles and slowly blinks.

“What’s that noise she’s making?” Roses asks, “It’s rather…I don’t know how to _describe_ it.”

“I think it’s a weird gurgle.” Jade says, warily.

“Her eyes are very…” Rose pauses, “Beautiful. It looks like they might be green or blue.”

“It’s gonna be a lottery ‘cause I have no clue what non-albino Dave looks like.” you say.

“Ness’s eyes are already causing her problems. The nurses have been putting drops in them around the clock to dull her sensitivity.” Jade says, “I think that’s why she’s so fussy. It must hurt.”

Rose frowns. “What are they for?”

“They always put drops in infant’s eyes to prevent infection,” you say, “but they said due to the…’uniqueness’…of Ness’s eyes, she needs a different mixture. Her ridges need constant cleaning too.”

“Well, considering your origins,” Jade says to you, “I think Ness will have brown or green eyes, since your side of the family most likely has brown eyes.”

That’s when it hits you: What in the hell are you going to tell Ness when she asks about your side of the family? You don’t even know the full details about what happened in Leder since you’ve been too preoccupied to ask Bro.

And scared.

Jade and Rose talk as you leave the room. You call Bro, who answers the phone with a sleepy “…hello?”

“You alright?” you ask.

“Khanie was up all night pestering Jake and then Jake went out and now she’s pestering _me_ about Jake not being here and…” Bro yawns, “Anyway, how’s my niece?”

“Precious and coming home with Mom.” You say, “Hey, can we…talk?”

“…talk?”

“About…my Dad.”

“Your Dad.” Bro inhales, “Okay…and…what else?”

“I just want to know what happened.”

“Alright…” Bro inhales again, “That’s fine. I… _you_ deserve to know.”

“Yeah. Um…Bro? Thank you.”

“For what exactly…?”

“Raising me and stuff. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t really do a good job.” Bro laughs but it’s hollow and nervous. “I did so many things wrong and I fucked you up because I was still fucked up myself. And I’m…sorry for those days--”

“You did the best you could.”

“That’s no excuse. I was the one who took you in. I thought about putting you up for adoption but I heard too many horror stories…” Bro sighs. “…I didn’t give you enough affection because I never had any myself, so I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s alright. You were young too.”

“Yeah but…you’re young _too_ , Dave. You’re younger than _I_ was.”

“I know.” There’s suddenly a lump in your throat. For the first time, you’re clearly talking to your brother. “See you at home.”

“Alright.”

You hang up but the lump in your throat won’t leave. You have to recollect yourself before returning to Jade.

There’s a lot of steps to transporting Jade and Ness home, but Rose helps. You also receive a small miracle in that Ness stays asleep for the trip.

When you get home, Jake, Bro, and Karkat are waiting for you. All the baby-proofing is done and trailer is squeaky clean. Even the futon has been folded back into the couch. Sonny Jr. is sitting at Karkat’s feet and Bec is curled up in the corner. When Jade comes through the door, Bec runs over.

“Hello, honey! Did you miss me?” Jade laughs. Bec barks, wagging her tail. “Aww, she missed me!”

“Nice to see your two kids are going to get along.” Rose says. She leaves afterward, despite your attempts to get her to stay longer.

“We thought you guys deserved a clean and Baby Strider-safe trailer.” Karkat says.

“It’s ‘Ness’, Karkat. You can stop calling her ‘Baby Strider’.” You chuckle.

“I like ‘Baby Strider’ better.” Karkat says, looking at your daughter.

“That _really_ sounds like a porn star name…” Jade snickers, carrying your daughter.

“It can be Dave’s porn star name instead of his current one.” Karkat says.

“What’s your porn star name?” Dirk asks.

“Stridriller.” You say.

“It was _my_ idea.” Karkat says, proudly.

Your plans to come home and immediately talk to Bro get thrown out the window. Jade exhausted, so you promise to take care of everything. You keep Ness with you, whether you’re on your laptop or watching TV. Every time she starts wailing, you’re there to calm her—whether its putting her down for a nap or rocking her to sleep. You cradle Nessie in your arms and watch TV, balancing the remote and supporting her head.

“Look at you, the picture of modern fatherhood.” Karkat snickers.

“At least my infant doesn’t bite me.” you say.

“Khanie doesn’t bite _that_ much—- _ow_!” Karkat winces and bends down, gently prying the teal grub off his sock-covered toes. “How did you get out from the laundry basket?" Khanie glowers at him. "I am _not_ your chew toy, Khanie!”

Khanie growls and writhes in his grasp.

You roll your eyes. “Put her in the carrier and I’ll bring her to Jake.”

“ _Gladly_.” Karkat says, keeping a death grip on Khanie as he searches for her carrier.

Khanie goes inside her carrier and Ness has her own. You go up the stairs lobbing two carriers and doing your best not to fall over. You place Khanie’s carrier on the ground so you can open the upper trailer door.

“Bro? Jake? You guys awake or at least not fucking?” you ask.

“Not yet.” Jake says from the couch. Bro is lying on the couch with his head in Jake’s lap.

Khanie growls and you let her out the carrier. She bounces over to Jake, headbutting his leg until he picks her up. Khanie’s not too fond of sharing Jake’s lap though and tugs on Bro’s hair with her mouth.

“Khanie, stop that,” Jake picks her up, “Dirk had a long day.”

“Of doing _what_ exactly?” you ask.

“I had a long _week_ is more accurate.” Bro says.

“He’s been worried about you, Jade, and the baby.” Jake whispers.

“I’m not worried. Just tired…” Bro yawns.

“Do you…still want to talk?” you ask.

Bro slowly sits up. “Now’s as good a time as any.”

“Yes, Khanie and I have a play date!” Jake stands with Khanie in his arms. Khanie happily squeaks. “Yes, we’re going to go see your little friends Suxxor and Momeju and Dmitry and Kempie…”

Khanie sticks out her tongue.

“Oh, they’re not _that_ bad.” Jake says as they leave.

You sit next to Bro. “Jake warmed quickly to the whole Dad thing.”

“He’s a true child at heart.” Bro yawns, “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know…” you admit, “For a while we weren’t sure what would happen given…” You shrug. “I’m just glad the doctors were wrong. In fact, Ness was the best-looking baby there and I’m not just saying that because she’s a Strider. All the others were…”

Ness gurgles and twists in her carrier. You unbuckle her and walk back over to the couch with your daughter.

 

 

“That’s a very cute outfit.” Bro says, “Jade’s idea?”

“Yeah. She wanted Ness to be the Hero of Time and not Princess Zelda.” You say, adjusting the emerald cap on Ness’s head. “I just hope she likes this.”

“You should keep in mind no matter how badly you fuck up, you’ll do better than me with Roxy and Rose.” Dirk say.

Bro did screw up the Roxy-Rose situation, but that’s for those two to deal with.

“I want to know about my father,” you say, “and not just the pleasant stuff. I…want to know what my house was like. Where I lived. What I ate and…and what the riots were like. How we made it.”

Bro looks at you and then takes off his shades. His eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep and corroding fear.

“I wasn’t the only one there.” Bro says, “Roxy, Jane, and Meenah suffered far more than I did. I can tell you all about your father but if you want the _full_ story, you have to talk to them.”

“That’s fine. This isn’t for the paper. It’s for me.”

Bro smiles sadly. “Alright. I’ll tell you how this all got started.”

You’re not sure if you’re ready for this.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. The next two are especially long is why.


End file.
